Affairs are much better when the two of you are in long term relationships

I think sometimes i make too big a fuss about things when should just go with flow but then, that is me... argh!
he's been emailing and texting and was saying something about his mate and i was like 'you keep some strange company' and he texted back 'yeah well, i like you dont i' with three kisses and a smile and i went a bit gooey
Because after the other night's hardcore sexts, he's now being bloody sweet and boyf like... weird!
Is he now my fuck friend or what?
Am i just wank fodder?
oh god... I really don't know
so that's why an affair would have been so much better because it means you can get emotionally involved, because there is NO chance of it going anywhere, so you can enjoy the romance without reading too much into it... now i dont know how to act or be, i keep talking about sex and he does the same cos i think we're trying to convince ourselves its just about the fucking, but i want it to be more... and am scared