Wednesday 14 March 2007

Confusion

I haven't seen him since the last time we met for his birthday.
Things have changed in the last couple of weeks.
For one, his girlfriend moved out at the weekend and I'm going to view a flat this evening, so it seems like there is no going back.
But does this mean that we are embarking on a more conventional relationship? Or will we both be seeing other people as well as each other?

Everyday, I feel myself getting more and more emotionally involved. Take today for example; it's my birthday in a few weeks time and I was hoping he would meet me after my party at this hotel we both loved...

So I sent him an email...

"Quick question, what are you doing on the night of Friday 30 March?
Cause I've got that room at ******* and was thinking we could do stuff if you want to meet me after my party. Let me know x"
And he replied: "not sure yet but sounds like a plan - will know by end of week as is flat dependent"
And then, where in the past, I would have been totally okay with that answer, knowing full well that he has his own life and commitments, this time, I wasn't okay with it at all, replying with
"
tell you what, don't worry about it (not being cross)just that i need to get my stuff sorted out
:-) speak later take care"
So now what do I do? His one word reply 'okaaaaaay' didn't make me feel good about myself or my reaction.

I've screwed up, haven't I?

I shouldn't have expected anything, and I never have from him.
This is why I hate the fact that things are changing. It's driving me crazy.

I was so afraid of this happening... he sent me a text the other day, asking if he would be able to see me "because he has no commitments now"... so does this mean he's single?

Because I'm not and if I can't see him when he would like to see me, then will he look around for other people?

This is why I preferred the whole affair scenario; at least that way, we had to plan things, now he's wanting to be spontaneous and I still have to plan stuff around my present commitments.



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