The Conversation, Pt II

I've had to answer some tough questions and discovered that I don't really like myself very much, don't like the person I've become.
This person who chooses to remain in a relationship that clearly isn't working because she can't afford to live by herself, that she's so accustomed to the lifestyle her boyfriend provides that she doesn't have the courage to get out of the relationship for fear that she won't be able to go out partying with her lover.
I am the lowest of the low.
Knowing this, however, hasn't shamed me enough to put a stop to it.
So here I am straddling two worlds and realising that this 'thing' is impacting my life in a positive and negative way.
I'm on the cusp of something new and exciting, something that makes going into work that little bit better because I know there will be an email from him waiting for me, something that makes my commute home easier because he smoothes away the frustration I feel at home.
Something that ultimately makes me a better person because I am less harsh, my words less cruel, my actions more generous, my thoughts more positive... surely being the other woman can't be all bad then?